Yes, I admit it, I’m a cheater

Can it be that its been 5 weeks since my last post? I’ve been so wrapped up in the random busy-ness in my life that I’ve neglected to speak my peace with my blog. And in trying to be a so-called writer I should be more disciplined; but I admit in earnest that I’m still working on that part. And I guess since we’re on the subject, I might as well make a full confession…

I’m a cheater. No, not the make up stories (well I kind of do when I’m writing fiction–but I digress), tell little (or big) lies, dodge details, and/or keep silent, talking too much can be a sign of guilt. No–I’m talking about the kind of cheating that keeps me from my blog, from sharing, from spending time with my newest flame. And, while I love the convenience of crafted online conversations that tease me with format, type, and immediate gratification, I can’t help but miss my one true love…

My journal. The shabby little notebook I carry around in my bag, in my car, everywhere, so I can write down everything–words, thoughts, phrases, names, recipes, directions, funny things my son says on a daily basis. I have an affinity for the smell of the page, the way the ink swells and runs over the lined sheets–the way my handwriting changes with my moods. The stay of the page, the public and privacy of the moment.

Anyway, I love my journal and as convenient as my blogs are, I’ve got to give time to my first love. The one who listened even when I had nothing interesting or creative to say. The one who didn’t judge me for listing words I didn’t know the meanings to, and for giving me room to spread my various versions of lines from works I could not finish.

My journal, or journals in this case come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. They are like my clothes, I wear what fits me for the day. They are my safe space to curl up and climb inside. They are my confidants. They have a way with my words.

So while I may have been away from this online way of journal writing for a while, I’m back and I must admit, a first love is a hard habit to break, so I just accept my shortcomings or pleasures in this case, and confess that all the places where I put my writing are a special part of my process and I guess that will never change. And I guess that’s ultimately o.k.

So there you go blog. I hope you can forgive me. Sorry I’ve been gone so long.

Categories: Misc.

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