My husband Alfonso, wears his pride on his sleeve, over his eyes, like my father, like his father. Love in this modern day, fast life is different. While Alfonso and I tote our degrees and life experience in our back pockets, there is comfort in what we already know, where we’ve come from, as we still love each other with remnants of our blue-collar hearts, the past of our parents dangles in the present us. What will it take for love to survive this vast and unpredictable new narrative of our time? I suspect redefining, reclaiming that murky line between working hard and loving harder.
Years ago, when we met, standing in the middle of the grocery store parking lot, there was a beautiful, painful, particular story just beginning. We found common ground that day, slow soothing Brazilian mood eased out of my speakers, his Portuguese was fresh and impressive, his Spanish rolled off of his Latin-Caribbean tongue. His warm brown eyes were sincere. There was identity shifting and dancing in the empty parking lot that day as our words lost track of time, bounced from midafternoon to early evening, then on to the rest of our lives. He looked into my eyes and raised his wonder in silence as I responded in the same way.
In this day of the instant and ambiguous, racing feeds and constant status updates, it’s hard to make time for the sublime, the simple low-tech moments in life and love that weather the time. It’s hard to imagine how to keep up with love when the world is changing rapidly, constantly around us. Sometimes I wonder where our love will be in 10, 20 years, and wonder where our love came from 10, 20 years ago.
Alfonso and I were born of worn hands, long hours, and latchkeys hanging from our necks. We love in an old school blue, as in the color of our moods as they are steady in sway finding themselves in each other over and over again. Blue, as in the way we were raised. We were both born the oldest into big families, modest upbringings, crowded rooms. Our fathers loved us from a distance, with working hands and towering voices, leaving scars on our hearts—the hearts we’re now supposed to figure out how to love each other with today and forever.